A Happy Hour Inspiration
Brought to you by Joshua
I started thinking, "How can I engage him in conversation? Should I ask him something? Should I start telling him about something that might teach him something I'd like him to know about life?"
I felt like I should be doing something. And I started judging myself for being a lousy friend, conversationalist, and NPT Coach.
I envisioned so much for my role in our relationship ... about being a great friend and role model, making a big difference in his life, and helping him achieve his goals. And it seemed like I should be taking more direct action to make something happen, instead of just sitting there in silence, watching television.
But, despite my loud internal chatter of self-judgement, I remembered what I had learned during my Natural Play Therapy Connection Course. And that was about creating space, and trusting that amazing things are still happening, even in moments of silence.
So I relaxed, and simply allowed us to sit there in silence.
And then, after about 15 minutes, to my tremendous joy, my friend turns to me and comments, "It would be cool to own a bar and restaurant like this someday."
From that, we launched into a conversation about his dreams, what he enjoys doing, and the possibility of working at the place we were at. He was doubtful about the possibility and would say things like, "Well, it would probably never happen."
But then I found my moment to be me and play my role as a friend. I expressed my honest belief in him, and pointed out how he was really good at remembering people's names, and talking about sports, and socializing with people, and all these reasons why he would be a great bartender if that's what he really wanted to do.
Before we left, he had asked the bartender about the possibility of working there and was enthusiastically told that he could fill out an application. Now he's excited and considering this as a real possibility of something he can do in the future, when he feels ready.
The whole experience was an awesome reminder to me of how I don't have to be trying to make something happen all the time. It can be effective, even more effective perhaps, to create that space for spontaneous conversations and activities to arise, naturally.
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